A Child's Excitement

Today, I got up reluctantly from my bed, slowly got ready, not wanting to do anything but go back to bed.  All my thoughts on my now lonley bed, I arise and get the kids ready and off to church we go.  We make a stop at the bank so that we can draw money from a deplinishing account and give it as offering.  All of this, I am doing reluctantly, or more accuratly, I'm just following the motions, not dreading anything, but there's no joy, no excitement in any of it.  The happiness of worshipping my God with others just wasn't in my heart this morning.

However, everything changed the moment we turn in to the church parking lot.  Our 3 year old son jumps in his seat, swings his arms, kicks his legs and loudly proclaims, "We're here, we're here, looks it's Church!"  The joy that had been evading me was in my son, loudly coming out, proclaiming, "We are here" as if there was nowhere else we needed to be, as if this morning he woke up only to make it to this one destanation, as if his whole being depended on it.

How is it that my child knew the joy that I missed?  How is it that the excitement of God failed me, but found my son?  The answer is found in Luke 18:16-17
     But Jesus called them to Him and said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.     "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."

Jesus Himself says that we are to receive the kingdom of God as a little child.  To receive the kingdom of God as a child is sometimes easy to say, but so very hard to do.  A child has the ability to see the simplicity of God's love, to see the wonderous joys of being in the house of the Lord, to reach out and grab what is freely given.  They are able to do this, for the world has not yet corrupted their ways of thinking, has not filled in gaps of their own creating with manly actions.  They can find joy in waking up and going to church, for they see it as if it's the only destination, not one in a many of choices that us grownups have made Sunday into.

How wonderful to see the joy of a child, who has found this Joy in learning about their God.  How wonderful to wake up and know God is God and that's enough.  There's no, 'but God, I need this or that, where is my answer to this prayer or that prayer.'  There's only one thought and that is the thought that things are the way they are cause God said so.  God in enough to them, for they can believe without the darkness of sin blocking out the light.  That is what it means to come to God as a child, to see what is beyond your comprehension, but to believe it  all the same because God said so.

The Red Road

Some of the lessons I learn, some of the thoughts that enter my head first came to me through a book.  Actually, most of my lessons that aren't taught by my kiddos are taught from a book, weather it is a novel that I am reading or a billboard I drive by, sometimes it's from a novel that I have read in the past and only then finally getting the message.

One such lesson I'm still pondering on is from a book I just finished called Edge of Eternity written by Randy Alcorn.  The story is about a man named Nick Seagrave and his journey on the Red Road.  Nick woke up in a foreign land, his only thoughts and memories at the moment was the battle he was battling against a pterodactyl looking creature in a raging storm.  He calls out to God, but then stops himself thinking that God has given up on him, that God has left Him, and that God wouldn't help, even if He heard his cries.

I have felt the same way, more than once.  Durring a storm in my life, I have more than once thought, 'Why won't God answer my prayers, why has God left me?'  In thinking this, I don't call upon God to help, I just weather on in the storm, everything getting darker, even my spirit, and I all but give up, for no matter how strong I may think that I am, I am nowhere near stong enough to walk through the slighest breeze without the strength of God leading me onward.

In the book, Nick didn't get to far either, he took refuge in a shallow cave, to ride out the storm and to hide from the creature.  By going it alone, we also take refuge in a shallow cave, cowering before the storm, cowering before the beast trying to devour us, while our God is there, hands on the reigns, ready to pull the beast back to submission, if only we would call out to Him.  If only we would put our trust in Him, trusting that He is not only strong enough to fight the beast, powerful enough to calm the storm, but most importantly, that He loves us enough to do so for us.  In our weakest darkest moments, God is still there, still waiting on us to call His name, still longing for us to return to Him where we truly belong.  His love is never ending, no matter what we may of done in the past, He will forever be waiting for us to call upon Him.

First of many

Jeremiah 29:11-13
     For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.     Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.     And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.

For some time now, these verses have been popping up everywhere I go.  Each time they pop up, a new lesson is taught to me, either it be a lesson in life, a lesson in parenting, or a lesson in faith.  Each lesson brings me back to this, for each lesson is pointing me towards the plans that God has for me.  He has a plan for me, a plan that only I can do, as He has a plan for you, one that only you can do.

I know that one of the plans God has for me is to let others know what I have learned.  I have pondered on this and wondered how is someone like me, shy to speak but with a lot to say, going to tell anyone anything, especially if what I have to say is more than likely going to offend them.  When I even think about talking to someone my mouth goes dry, my face goes numb, my heart races with fear, and I then shamefully hang my head and walk the other way.  I am not ashamed of God, nor am I ashamed of His Word, but I am not a good speaker, and so shy that most see me as stuck up at first meeting.  (Thank you God for putting Steven in my life to help me with this, for if not for him, I would surly be alone in this life)

This brought me to Exodus 4: 10-16.  This is where Moses questions God of His reasoning for chooseing him to speak to Pharaoh to let His people go.  I to question God, why me, why have me speak when I am so scared.  God answered Moses this:  "Who has made man's mouth?  Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind?  Have not I, the Lord?"  Knowing that God will speak through me should embold me, but I have a long way to go.  My faith is still too shy.  However, if God allowed Aaron to be spokesman for Moses, there must be a way that I too can still do what God has planned.  That's when I remembered God put technology in man's mind to create, so why can not this technology be my Aaron?  Why can't I use what resources God has given me to further His plan?

That is why today I have started this blog.  This blog will be my Aaron in telling others of the lessons I have learned, in hopes that even one of them falls on the ears of one who needs to hear of God's love and mercy.  If only one soul may be saved, then all is worth the cost.  If one person is brought closser to hearing the Good News, then all is worth the cost.  I can't promise that one of my hard learned lessons isn't going to offend someone, for I'm sure that it will, and I'm sure that some who I once called friend, will soon call me enemy.  That is the price to pay to reveal God's truth, for man, including me at my best, does not want to hear the truth, but the truth is the only way.  God's way is the only way, and I can only pray that He uses me to help spread His word, that He uses me to help show others His love, and that my ears remain open so that I can hear only His words.